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| Every time i feel like blogging and i signed in and i'm at the create weblog entry part.. i suddenly dont know what to type.
i dunno.. i guess i'm just pissed. at what? at people.. lq once said
all my problems has gotta do with guys.. and guys and guys.. right most
of the times but has it ever occured to people that i have other
problems sides that? it's true that life aint perfect and everyone has
their own problems so who gives a damn about what my problems are? when
i get pissed and then what? blame it on pms? yeah right. blame it on
pms if u want. i dont fucking give a damn.. say what u wanna say.
we really shouldnt take what we have for granted. if u
have a best friend..a boyf.. a girlf.. your family.. friends. whatever-
dun fcking treat them like they're privileged to have u as however
they're related to u. u think you're superior? fcking no. :)
some people.. i dont even know them.. or lets say i dont even want to
know them.. they simply add me on msn.. and start talking all sort of
shit. "hi dear..baby.. sweetie..i miss u.. i this..i that.i always
dream of u..(blahblahblah)." or even worse still "are u interested in
chatting sex with me?" or whatever-get the picture. ha-double-ha. who
gives a damn wei? come on la.. desperate sial like nobody's business.
who falls for this really can eat shit wey. this people, should really
get a life. omg. please lah. im like, " just fck off and stop
irritating me lah" deng.. are people really that desperate that they
have to do stuff liddat?? one word- LOSER!!!
i still like him... :( im falling more and more each day. someone get me out.. please. :(
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| i'm emo tonight. as in
seriously. but i dun even noe why!! today i went for tuition.. i simply
sat down somewhere cuz there wasnt anymore place.. suddenly i realise
the person walking past me and sitting behind me looks very familiar..
i turn around..and was like.. er.. oh. hi.. i got a feeling my reaction
was damn stupid and it made me feel damn kekok.. so i wanted to change
place.. but got nowhere to sit.. i dont wanna sit at the back.. in the
end.. i sat alone the whole of tuition.. stupid.. lucky the teacher was
funny.. if not i walk out of the class ady. seriously. damn fcked up..
i mean I'M damn fcked up.. sorry if all the cursing swearing whatever
pisses u off.. dun read it if u dont want to.. whatever makes u happy!!
...im seeing that person
everywhere!! i cant stand it.. how can i jz ignore?? how can i just
look through and pretend everythings fine with me when nothing is?? im
not some kinda robot without any feelings.. i do have feelings..
evryone everything does.. i cant stand this. :(
dun ask me why im feeling this
way.. i just am.. i dunno why also.. i wanna know why too. maybe u shud
tell me instead of me telling u.. its driving me crazy.. aihssS!!!
wadafArk mann.. after tuition..was in bestie's mom's car.. there was
this song on radio.. some song.. besties sort of say it suits me or
somehting liddat.. sial betul la.. :(
"What Can I Do"
I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better, yeah
If I don't try and I don't hope
What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there
No more waiting, no more, aching...
No more fighting, no more, trying...
Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just going to let it fly
What can I do to make you love me
(What can I do to make you love me)
What can I do to make you care
(What can I do to make you care)
What can I say to make you feel this
(What can I do to make you love me)
What can I do to get you there
(What can I do to make you care)
What can I do to make you love me
(What can I do to make you love me)
What can I do to make you care
(What can I do to make you care)
What can I change to make you feel this
(What can I do to make you love me)
What can I do to get you there
(What can I do to make you care)
And love me... love me...
this song la.. sounds quite nice i guess.. whatever la..
whatever makes 'u' happY!!!!
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| wells.. school has ady started.
turned out ... i dont know if this is a good or bad thing but i guess
it's bad.. cause he's like not talking to me. to me, we're sort of like
ignoring each other. sucks leh?? lol.. well yeah it sucks.
tell you what..its a torture to go to school five days a week, seeing
him all the time. at the time when i wanted to see him.. i seldom got
to. now i dont feel like seeing him.. i see him alot!! is this the way
things go?! against ur will?? argh...but then at the same time.. when
things dont go ur way.. u'll tend to link alot of shit to it.. right??
er..dont know.
my friend said.. just look through him. ignore him.. blabla.. i know.
but the thing is.. is it that easy?? if everything was so simple.. as
easy done as said.. then why would people kill themselves or attempt to
take their own lifes because of "love"?? owh yeah so i love u but u
dont love me so i have to kill myself?? please lah.. get a life.. even
if really die.. who says that the person will care man?? nothing
guarantees that if u die the person will be like kena jampi or
something and then go back to u.. owh yeah right.. in your wildest
dreams..yeah.. i wouldnt go kill myself cause of this.. but wellss..
situations change..and people change along with it.. so i guess even if
they try to kill themselves.. atm it would have seemed the right thing
to do..but after that.. think back..it becomes stupid lol!
so now what? talk to him? dont talk to him?? just let this ignoring and
"cold silent war" go on?? damn terrible like that right.. argh.. i dont
know what to do about this. sigH.. fuck this okayh.. just heck it lah..
OKAYH!!!!! argh!..
ahaha..okayh.. enough for tonight..gotta go sleep now.. ooh yeah..this
is my "secret" blog konon.. who cares who reads it.. dont care lah..
leave it.. heck it lah..
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| emo post? not that.
i freaking blogged at blogspot just now. and suddenly got error and all
the stuff i wrote disappeared! vanished! no more! and i was about to
submit it ady. wtf right??
aihS.. feeling weird.
at this moment i dont know what i wanna do.
i dont know if i wanna blog, i wanna chat, i wanna sleep, whatever. i
just dont know what i want now. whats all this man?? i dont know, but i
know its driving me crazy. maybe sometimes it's better to be ignorant.
ppl say ignorance is bliss. but it also leads to suffering. so what
now?? what to do?? to be or not to be? go with the flow?? the flow is
now stuck. dried up. and what to do? get up and walk? to where? just
walk and walk until somewhere? but which direction?? will it be the
right choice? or should just stay stuck here and see if anything
happens that may help?? if u dont do anything, then u wont do the wrong
thing. like some ass like that only.
haha. why did i say that?? i got no idea. seriously. damn weird right.
aiks. sorry lah. dont read if you dont want to. cause u dont have to.
it's all ur choice. it's ur life. it's ur decision. no one can control
u right. no one can take over ur life man. stand up and take control of
ur own life then u can enjoy it. dun let anyone pull u down. leely once
sent me a msg.. life is full of trials, disappointment but if u fall
down, get up and say "which sotong pushed me?!".. lol.. that was funny
but yeah seriously. dun let anyone which u cant pull down to pull u
down lol! cause its not worth it k? same meaning as dont cry for anyone
who wont cry for u. if it's this way might as well no need care for
anyone. sor meh~! haha wells. varies for everyone so.. ignore me.
whoa haha i have just been blogging for a few minutes and it seems like
alot liao. swt la~ aihS i dont know if it is still the same thing
that is bothering me. that fella. i dont know wut the hell he doing
now.. dont wanna know but wanna noe abt wut he thinking~ aihS.. damn
denGz.. argh! dont know lah.. i wonder.. would things be different if
we had tried to communicate and all?? would it arr?? cause i know.. if
we just left it like how it was.. i would ady have completely let go
but no someone had to spoil my plan to make it go the way i originally
wanted it to be but then everything had to be screwed up again. all
over again. history's repeating. well not really. but some sort. this
is proof that what goes around comes around so dont go around breaking
people's hearts cause in the end u'll get urs broken back. lol.
haha aihS i think i should go get some sleep.. cause now's like 4 in
the morning.. and i was supposed to meet kat at 12 but she cancel dengz
so now will be meeting her at 2 to 4.. get my xmas pressie..and give
her hers.. hope so xiangz can make it go there teman me also.. arghh..
but its like such a slim chance oni..waaaa besties please freaking tell
me u can go!! lol.. arghhh damn sor la~ liddat... aihss.. i dont know
la.. den gonna have a dinner tmr night.. may be leaving early to go kl
for countdown if tc's dad can fetch me along.. but like not nice to
leave so early liddat~ dengzz.. why la go cram all the plans in one day
one?!?! so dengz.. arghh.. dono la.. i dono if i will be seeing him..
aiyorr.. whatdafark man.. i also zha tou like mad ady la.. sumore wana
see him.. where got face liao.. dengzZ.. i never thought all this will
happen to me.. why!??! lol.. sounds so familiar haha.
whoa this post is quite long right lol.. ahaha.. but nvm lor.. i like
to type and type..keep my fingers busy typing...hehehe lols.. i dono
la.. like damn stress liddat right?? when my so called problems is
actually not problem also.. hahaha maybe it is la..but not serious one
la.. deng.. i damn weird wei.. aikS.. ahahaha nvm la.. hope so i can
make it for the countdown la.. wanna countdown with frens..more syok
right?? if countdown with my cousin's frens cuz she having bbq so maybe
family and her frens together count tak fun for me la right.. me will
be so sien.. dun realli noe her frens also.. aiKS.. with own frens more
fun ma!! lol.. hehehe anyways...i tink i better go now lor.. hehehehe
ciaozz nitezz happy new year mann muakS ciaoz
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| damn fucked up.
seriously.
if u dont wana be seen with me, then dont go out with me.
if u like me, show it.
if u dont like me, tell me.
if u dont trust me, dont ask me to keep secrets.
i dont say anything doesnt mean im being ignorant okay.
i dont say anything doesnt mean im not bothered and im fine with everything and i just dont care. hell no!
i do care.
im not fine with it lah!
why are u fcking doing this to me wei?
wtf did i do now?
diu everythings going crazy since that happened.
one shit after another.
i dont know how the fck things turned out to be this way.
but u know what?
SCREW THIS LAH!!!!
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